jeuxbliette:

projectunbreakable:






The poster reads:
"I love you. I’d treat you so much better than your boyfriend." -my abuser and friend
"So you put out for him but you won’t for me?" - said boyfriend
—
Photographed in New York City on September 2nd.  
—
Click here to learn more about Project Unbreakable. (trigger warning)
Facebook, Twitter, submissions, FAQ, donate to Project Unbreakable 







I’m ready to own this and put my face to it.
Two years ago I had my picture taken with project Unbreakable, but at the time I was still terrified of… I don’t even know what. Consequences of attaching my face to these words. Facing the reality that even as I wrote them down on the poster, in my handwriting, that featuring my face with them would make them somehow own me. If I did this, it would mean that what had happened had truly, irrevocably happened to me.
This September, a week before my birthday, it will have been ten years since I was raped. And ten years later I have a very difficult time calling it what it is - I use ‘abused,’ ‘assaulted,’ ‘nonconsensual,’ all words that imply or lead to assumptions of what happened, but are clean, and still provide me with a shield. It didn’t actually happen.
But it did. Ten years ago I was raped, and no matter what that is irrevocable. Ten years ago my first sexual experience was entirely nonconsensual. And I can’t say I’ve been the same person - but now, ten years later, I’m not sure who that other person would have been.
I’m living now in a space where I can actually appreciate and take responsibility for my sexual habits, where I can look at my body and not want to destroy myself, in an apartment of my own, with a car that I bought with my own money, in a competitive program and a good job. I think I can own this now because yes, what happened was horrible. And yes, I still have anxieties and flashbacks. I survived a host of medications, personality disorders, eating disorders, and highly self-destructive tendencies. But I have survived.
I’m not dead, and I am healing.
So, the picture above is me. And I’m taking back “I love you.” Finally.

I appreciate you so much for this

jeuxbliette:

projectunbreakable:

The poster reads:

"I love you. I’d treat you so much better than your boyfriend." -my abuser and friend

"So you put out for him but you won’t for me?" - said boyfriend

Photographed in New York City on September 2nd.  

Click here to learn more about Project Unbreakable. (trigger warning)

FacebookTwittersubmissionsFAQdonate to Project Unbreakable 

I’m ready to own this and put my face to it.

Two years ago I had my picture taken with project Unbreakable, but at the time I was still terrified of… I don’t even know what. Consequences of attaching my face to these words. Facing the reality that even as I wrote them down on the poster, in my handwriting, that featuring my face with them would make them somehow own me. If I did this, it would mean that what had happened had truly, irrevocably happened to me.

This September, a week before my birthday, it will have been ten years since I was raped. And ten years later I have a very difficult time calling it what it is - I use ‘abused,’ ‘assaulted,’ ‘nonconsensual,’ all words that imply or lead to assumptions of what happened, but are clean, and still provide me with a shield. It didn’t actually happen.

But it did. Ten years ago I was raped, and no matter what that is irrevocable. Ten years ago my first sexual experience was entirely nonconsensual. And I can’t say I’ve been the same person - but now, ten years later, I’m not sure who that other person would have been.

I’m living now in a space where I can actually appreciate and take responsibility for my sexual habits, where I can look at my body and not want to destroy myself, in an apartment of my own, with a car that I bought with my own money, in a competitive program and a good job. I think I can own this now because yes, what happened was horrible. And yes, I still have anxieties and flashbacks. I survived a host of medications, personality disorders, eating disorders, and highly self-destructive tendencies. But I have survived.

I’m not dead, and I am healing.

So, the picture above is me. And I’m taking back “I love you.” Finally.

I appreciate you so much for this

posted 2 months ago with 212 notes
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    I appreciate you so much for this
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    I’m ready to own this and put my face to it. Two years ago I had my picture taken with project Unbreakable, but at the...
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